Don’t Compete, Compliment

Today’s post is a bit different from the material you are used to on this blog. I’d like to share a lesson that I learnt yesterday first thing in the morning.

Like most Twitter addicts, the first thing I did when I woke up was check my Twitter timeline, where I came across this post, tweeted by my favourite blogger Michael Hyatt. The CTO of Twitpic Steven Corona was sharing his experience after a 30 day social media fast. The lessons are impressive, he even started writing a book in that period but that’s not what this post is about. It’s about the comments on that blog post.

Most people found it fit to point out (rather rudely in my opinion) that they aren’t on social media at all, a 30 day break isn’t an achievement to write home about. Everyone has a right to an opinion, but I wanted to respond and say:

You don’t understand this! To you, this isn’t a big deal because social media isn’t a personal struggle. To Steven, and the rest of us who struggle, 30 days without social media IS an achievement. And with all due respect, what have you achieved with your time, now that you don’t spend your time on social media?

As I read them all it struck me that this is something most of us do, almost subconsciously. When someone mentions an achievement, especially it is an area where we don’t struggle with, the tendency is to compare it to a similar achievement of our own.

How many times has someone told you that they haven’t watched TV in a week (an achievement in their eyes), only for you to counter  that in fact, you don’t own a TV?

What about my friend, who proudly told me about his decision to join a SACCO, and I blew his candle by mentioning that I’ve been in a SACCO for 5 or so many years? Or the other one who told me about her decision to quit alcohol, and instead of realizing this was a big decision for her, I belittled it by letting her know that I no longer drink too, and it wasn’t much of a struggle?

Reading those comments, I realized that most times we are competing instead of complimenting.

How about the next time someone shares an achievement with you, you pause and appreciate the effort they have expended on it?

It may not seem huge to you, but the fact that they’re sharing it means it’s big for them. Let’s compete less, and compliment more.