Why I Will Not Do Errands And Chores

I am a doer.

This trait was developed by my parents, growing up in a farm. See, there was nothing like sitting around doing nothing in my parents house, unless the “nothing” was reading a book. Also, there was nothing like “sleeping in”. You woke up at between 6am and 6:30 am whether you had something to do or not. In fact, I have a distinct memory of my father waking me early one Sunday and telling me that even if I wake up and sit in the living room, that’s ok – waking up mattered.  To this day,I find it hard to sleep in, guilt free. When it happens, I am out of bed by 8am, which is rare.

So I grew up to be a person who does stuff.

And doing stuff felt good.

When I moved out of home in my 20s, the doing extended there. I enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment that came from cooking dinner every evening, cleaning my house, sometimes washing my car and even clothes. I took great pride in thinking, “I like my things done in a certain way, that’s why I do them”.

There’s a reason tasks feel good. Starting and completing a menial task boosts your morale, especially if you start and finish a task in a short period of time. This is especially the case with business owners and managers, who rarely get to totally tick anything off their to do list. I had this career run at some point where for 1 year, I didn’t finish ANYTHING! I worked crazy days, but the mission was never ending, challenge after challenge.  Today, I see why that job ended with me burnt out. Completing things gives us rest.

So yes, we do need to do things, and to finish things for our emotional health, but meeting this need with menial stuff also stands in the way of us accomplishing what truly matters.

Think about it. Have you ever finished a menial task, then immediately thereafter sat down to do real work on your computer? Rarely. When you finish a task you feel like you deserve a reward, not more work.

If I get home from work and I cook dinner, iron clothes for tomorrow, wash dishes after dinner and do baby admin, then all I want to do is sit down and relax. Even if I have carried some work home.

So early this year, I decided to stop doing chores and errands, and have other people do it. Even if I have to pay them more, spend time training and hire resources to train them to do “things exactly as I like them done”.

So I do not do laundry. I don’t iron clothes. I do not cook as a chore, I do not make my bed, I do not wipe my shoes, wash my car. I do not go to the post office. I do not bank my cheques. All things get done, but other people do it for me.

This leaves me room to feel wasted when I do not do what’s truly important in my life. If I come home after work and lie on the couch, then somehow do not read a story to The Child^TM  , it is on me. I do not get to say that I was too busy ironing or prepping dinner.

If I have work that has been outstanding for weeks in the office, I feel wasted if I spend the day doing nothing – I don’t have tasks I tick off for that accomplished feeling.

What has not doing chores and menial tasks done for me?

1. Increased productivity on the right things: Tasks and chores are rewarding, but they are not necessarily productive. By denying myself the satisfaction that comes from doing menial work, I am able to seek out satisfaction by working on things that truly matter.  That wasted feeling that comes from idling fuels me to productivity, because I cannot wash the dishes to fix the feeling – the dishes are done. More productivity = more income / income opportunities.

2. More rest: I have learned the joys of sitting around doing nothing. I do not necessarily sleep more, but I find there’s more room in my brain to think, but also to do nothing. I’ve also discovered laziness, which feels great.

3. Less escapism from the things I have to do: Connected to (1) above. If my options are to sit around, do nothing and feel terrible thereafter or to do what needs to be done, I am more inclined to just get things done.

4. More slack for my loved ones: I find I have so much time with family and friends. Time I did not have because I was always doing something or the other – both the chores and the important stuff had to get done somehow.

5. By handing chores over to people who consider them their jobs, a lot of stuff gets done better than it would if I did it myself. I hated ironing, so I would iron one item at a time, when wearing it. I didn’t scrub my bathroom daily, or wipe every corner of the house daily. Now that there’s someone else doing it who has her own system, all the clothes in my closet are ironed. My errands too are done on time.

I wouldn’t have it any other way, unless I had absolutely no choice.

If you derive pleasure from chores like I did, let me not be the one to get you to stop doing them, but consider this. If you didn’t have to do chores, what else would you be doing?