How To Think About Moving Out Of Home (Part 1)
This is Part 1 of a 3-part series on how to think about moving out of home. Look out for the other two in subsequent posts.
Every so often, a younger friend will ask for my advice on moving out from their parents’ home. Of course in all cases, my friends are born and brought up in the city, have been working for a few months/years and feel confident that they are ready for the responsibility of living by themselves.
There are many motivating factors for this, and my approach when talking to them is to always start with the “Why?”, to figure out their motivation. Typically, there are three main reasons why people want to move out of home:
- To “grow up” and start paying some bills
- For personal space
- To shorten the commute
May be there are others, but the above three have been the most common in my experience. For each reason, I feel there are different considerations to take into account:
Is moving out an indicator of financial responsibility?
This speaks to the first reason people give for moving out. That once they start paying some obligatory bills, they will become more responsible. I do not buy into this school of thought. I find it as inaccurate as the school of thought that a financially irresponsible person should get married to make them financially responsible.
Spending more money is not a way of saving money
Financial responsibility is not about paying rent, or utilities, but it is about being intentional about how you spend your money, no matter your living situation or your income. Sure, if you have a landlord, you will have to pay rent, but that does absolutely nothing to your personal finances. The money is gone. Paying rent does not teach you how to save. It teaches you how to pay rent.
Do bills act as an incentive for one to think more soberly about money? Sometimes yes. I however feel it is possible to acquire good money habits without the threat of being thrown out of your house for non-payment of rent.
If this is your motivation, my advice is you instead purpose to learn some good money habits now. If you aren’t responsible with your money when living at home, paying rent won’t fix that, and even if it helps, the result will be sub-optimal.
An aside issue on this: I do believe it is important to take up some bills at home once you start working, no matter how wealthy your parents are, and by this I do not mean the cable TV bill. Why? Because it costs them money to keep hosting you, and it is a way of communicating to your parents that you recognize this, and your small way of starting to take care of life affairs by reflecting the true cost of your life on your bank account.
What is the point of spending the money I’d have paid on rent on contributing towards the parent’s living expenses, why not just move out? Because all things held constant, you are likely to “trade down” when you move out to your first house. Your quality of life will significantly go down, you now have to worry about cooking, cleaning, socializing/company etc, things that are not a big concern when living with your family.
So there you have it. Paying rent will not make you financially responsible, the habits you build will do that. If you have the privilege of being housed by your parents when you start out in your career, use those first few months to learn good money habits, they will serve you well in life.
