When Life Imitates Running
Yesterday I suffered a fall while running. This is a big deal for two reasons:
- I never fall. Seriously, I can’t remember the last time I actually fell. Sliding and landing on my bum while hiking doesn’t count, I am talking about tripping, being suspended in the air for a microsecond before landing on your hands and knees. I just do not fall…
- Falling (as described above) is a traumatic experience for me. It triggers thoughts of death for some reason, and for that microsecond before I land, my brain is usually convinced that I am about to die.
Anyway, yesterday’s legendary fall triggered some thoughts about how in many ways, life imitates running. Often when you are in the zone, cruising along with nothing much to worry about, that’s when an exposed root shows up and trips you and you find yourself on your hands and knees in the forest. That’s how life plays out too. While you cannot predict and control down times,how you react thereafter determines (to a large extent) how life (and your running goals) play out.
Time out!
When my mini-panic moment passed and I realised I was not dying, the first thing I did, while still on my knees and with one bloodied hand was to pause my Garmin (running watch) and Runkeeper on my phone. Why? Because I did not want to lose the running time I had already logged, but also, it was a way to tell myself that “what happens after this does not count”
This hoodie or running tee is my life.
When you face a setback in life, it is important to have the same attitude: first, the gains that you have made count! The fact that you have failed at one point does not negate all the progress you have made. Eating chocolate once does not wipe out a week of healthy eating, failing to save once does not mean the savings you have made do not count. Secondly, a time out is important. Failing and falling both hurt. To recover, you need a no-judgement time out, where you are not under pressure to keep going.
Allow yourself to feel the pain
The more driven runners will fall, get right up and keep on running through the pain. That couldn’t be me. After I’d stopped the timer, I sat by the road side, head on my knees and FELT THE PAIN! My left knee had borne most of the impact (I instinctively favor my right leg), my left hand was bloodied and I think I had sprained the wrist. It was so bloody painful, I almost cried. I sat there, wondered if I can walk, and generally cursed silently as I waited for the pain to pass.
The life equivalent of this, is when we suffer loss, and we are under so much pressure to move on, that we do not allow ourselves to feel the pain. Problem with this approach is that while you may seem badass to the rest of the world, you keep accumulating pain you haven’t allowed yourself to feel. The purpose of a time out is to allow you to be fully human.
This is why I do not run in Nikes 😀
Self love and compassion
As I limped to the base where I had parked my car, I experienced a range of emotions: relief that nothing was broken, heartbreak and disappointment because I have a half-marathon to run and for once I had been training consistently for 1.5 months, fear that I may be too injured to run again soon, anger that I didn’t see the exposed root because I wasn’t paying attention etc.
Then I got to base and drove to Coldstone for ice cream. I no longer believe in “calories replacement” after running, but this time, I needed to love on myself. I worked through the disappointment (my injury does not wipe out the 150+km I have logged since December 20th), fear (whatever will be will be, and it won’t be the worst thing that’s ever happened to my legs and I), anger (seriously, it’s not a useful emotion).
The lesson here is to be compassionate with ourselves when we fail. We are only human. Think of the advice you would give a friend if she came to you after a big failure, and give yourself the same advice. Love thyself.
Totally!
This morning, I am walking like Long John Silver, I have cancelled a hike I had planned for tomorrow, but I am in good spirits. I’ll be back on the track next week.
Why I run in the evenings
